Difficult is not clearing all the mess you created, but all the broken pieces of your heart amidst that mess
The word “Articleship” had always brought an image in Ashwini’s mind, of “Serving that someone, whose footsteps you shall follow”. But within sometime of the field experience, she saw it from a different angle, altogether with a different perspective. It was a new routine for her, full of responsibilities, hard-work and corresponding rewards and recognition. Her life had seemed to be in doldrums for a while until she wondered how she was going to be there for the next three years. For the first time in life, she’d met people whom she couldn’t call friends, she’d met elders whom she couldn’t call uncles or aunties. It felt transitional to be a part of an entirely different strata of society. It was different in School and in College, where seats weren’t as comfortable as in office but the situations were! Trying to fit herself in her new formal footwear, with bruised ankles she made it through the first week of the training. For the first time in life, she realized what Saturdays and Sundays meant to the adult world. As days passed by, she realized that her performance now wasn’t going to be checked page after page and she wasn’t going to be given marks (Well,atleast not till the final exam!), instead she would be given more and more challenging assignments to work on. The inability to cope up with the pace of her life, sometimes broke her down,but each time she arose with a newly found determination. She knew that someday, she has to! In the past, she’d always chosen her group members, her friends, only here she realized that she wouldn’t be given an option. She worked with everyone, the like & unlike, aggressive & submissive, proudy & humble, intelligent & otherwise. She got a gist of Permutation & Combination in the true sense. Amidst all this, one thing she knew for sure that she was growing, as a person, as a colleague, as a professional into a much more responsible person than what she would have otherwise moulded into. Articleship had turned out to be a game changer for her, yet she knew that the real game lay ahead.
Today’s evening gave me a glimpse of what my life would be exactly four Saturdays later. As the regular time we meet approached, I slowly started facing the truth. You weren’t around today, exactly like you wouldn’t be four weeks later. At 6 o’clock, I felt empty inside. Tried calling a few fair weather friends, and obviously it went in vain. I couldn’t imagine how I was to spend two years being away from you.
Yet I decided, to get going and got myself busy with other activities. I did things that I’d been postponing for weeks, did some household chores and shed some tears every now and then. When I finished doing all my work, I felt really good but the void was still there. I cannot believe how much difference your being here, even just sitting beside me and saying nothing, makes to my life.
Now here I lie, crying in the dark, waiting for you to return from all your shopping. Although today’s was just a trailer, I know the movie releases soon!